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posted 15th Feb 2019, 2:02 AM

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view Shekets's profile

15th Feb 2019, 2:02 AM

Shekets

You ever just lay in bed and stare at the ceiling all night?

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user comments

15th Feb 2019, 12:15 PM

Guest

Maybe you could have him like looking at a picture of melanie instead of him talking to himself. Use the visual medium. Show dont tell.

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15th Feb 2019, 12:16 PM

Guest

Maybe you could have him like looking at a picture of melanie instead of him talking to himself. Use the visual medium. Show dont tell.

end of message

15th Feb 2019, 12:16 PM

Guest

Maybe you could have him like looking at a picture of melanie instead of him talking to himself. Use the visual medium. Show dont tell.

end of message

15th Feb 2019, 12:22 PM

Guest

Maybe you could have him like looking at a picture of melanie instead of him talking to himself. Use the visual medium. Show dont tell.

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view Shekets's profile

15th Feb 2019, 1:23 PM

Shekets

:^y That actually happens on the next page (pages 1-4 of chapter 8 have been available for patrons for the past couple weeks), but the thing is I don't expect readers to remember the name of Lionel's long-time ex-girlfriend because she's only been mentioned previously and never actually made an appearance.
Also, Lionel isn't actually talking to himself. You'll see in later pages, thank you for reading!

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view keltyzoid!'s profile

15th Feb 2019, 2:05 PM

keltyzoid!

>one line of dialogue for the first time in several panels across two pages, most of which were establishing shots and other quiet panels to show the passage of time

k

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